


i'm the kind of trouble that you enjoy

by spookily (Saboteurs)



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Demon Hunter Shane AU, M/M, vague haunted location
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 10:10:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12792339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saboteurs/pseuds/spookily
Summary: Shane is a demon hunter. Ryan finds this out in the worst way possible.





	i'm the kind of trouble that you enjoy

**Author's Note:**

> ok look it's not like i ship IRL ryan and shane okay it's more like...i ship the personalities they present on their show. is that how they're really like IRL? i don't know and i don't care. i'm just having fun with their characters and the dynamic they have. THAT BEING SAID...i hope you enjoy!

“Man, fuck this place.”

“We haven’t even stepped inside,” Shane says, amused. They and their camera crew are standing in front of their latest haunted destination, an imposing, decayed mental asylum constructed with such severity even Shane feels a little cowed. The building is enormous, a beast of architecture in the process of decomposing with some of its skeleton poking through. Windows that are cracked and broken reveal an internal darkness just waiting to swallow them up.

Shane yawns.

“Good to know you’re completely unaffected, as always,” Ryan sighs.

“Mmh, just tired,” Shane says, rolling his neck. Ryan glances at him.

“Tired? From what? You literally slept the entire day today.”

“Jet lag?” Shane tries.

“You went to bed early last night. Actually, right after we checked in at the hotel, you left and disappeared into your room. Did you really conk out for like, 12 hours?”

Shane shrugs. “Are we gonna stand here debating my sleep cycle and freezing our butts off, or are we gonna go catch a fake demon?”

As expected, Ryan immediately bristles. “Fuck you, we’re definitely catching a demon tonight! Uh, not that we’re trying to imprison one or anything,” he hastily adds to the building. Shane rolls his eyes fondly and hides his grin as they pick their way towards the entrance, their crew trailing behind.

The moment they step through the threshold, however, the hairs on the back of Shane’s neck stand up. He frowns, eyes darting around the musty interior. Ryan rambles beside him, but Shane isn’t paying attention. Something doesn’t feel right. But that’s impossible --

“Shane? Hey, earth to Shane?” Ryan is snapping his fingers in front of his face. “What’s up, dude? Did you catch sight of the demon?” His tone is joking, but he nervously laughs.

“Hah, you wish. Just taking in the scenery, I guess. You were saying?”

“I was saying how I really fucking wish we didn’t have to stay here overnight. This place gives me the heebie jeebies.”

“Literally every place we’ve been to gives you the heebie jeebies,” Shane retorts, even as his own skin is prickling. Did he miss something last night?

“Okay, true, but this place -- oh, let’s stop here. This will make a good backdrop. Hey, can we get this shot?”

They set up their cameras and Ryan delves into the asylum’s history. As he talks, Shane scans the environment as discreetly as possible. No doubt their youtube audience would pick up on his spacing out, but he trusts they’ll chalk it up as him being his usual weird self. Or maybe he can feed them another story about eating bad airport food.

It’s not like he expects to see a demon, since he already purged this place last night himself.

 _Maybe I didn’t completely banish it?_ It’s possible, but unlikely. While flakey on lots of things, Shane prides himself on being meticulous with his hunter work. He’d been doing this since childhood, when his parents placed a battered book of sigils in one hand, a bottle of holy water in the other, and revealed their family’s history of fighting the supernatural. It was one hell of a birthday surprise, Shane will give them that.

He’s had years to hone his craft. The demon he fought yesterday hadn’t even been one of the difficult ones, and he made _sure_ the bastard was on a one way trip to hell. So what is this nagging sense of unease?

“...what do you have to say about that, huh, Mr. Skeptic?” Ryan interrupts. “Pretty compelling, right?”

“Compelling bullshit, maybe.” Shane replies automatically. He gives himself a mental shake and schools his expression to his usual nonchalance.

Ryan gives an incredulous laugh. “How can you say that! The guy clearly had an encounter with a demon, there’s no way those scratches could be --”

“-- a wild animal attack? Oh yeah, it’s totally impossible that wild animals could be living in this abandoned building in the middle of nowhere. He probably spooked a, I don’t know, raccoon.”

“A rac -- the scratches don’t belong to any animal! They’re too big --”

“A big raccoon. A bear.”

“I’m pretty fucking sure the guy would have noticed a bear, or even a raccoon. And what about those glowing eyes --”

“Once again, wild animal.”

Ryan throws his hands up. Despite himself, Shane grins at Ryan’s look of pure frustration. Getting Ryan all riled up never fails to delight him, and for a moment, his inner discomfort is forgotten.

Ryan’s voice drips with sarcasm as he says, “You know what, you’re right, there can’t possibly be a demon in here.” Shane raises an eyebrow in anticipation for the other shoe to drop. Sure enough, Ryan allows a dramatic pause to fall before he looks directly at their main camera. “Because there’s a theory that there are _two_ demons in here.”

Shane freezes.

“That’s right, folks,” Ryan continues. “Despite my crippling fear of demons, I’ve decided to make my sacrifice for this season a _double_ sacrifice by going to a place with two demons. Because I’ve lost my goddamn mind, apparently.”

“There are two of them?” Shane asks faintly. His heart pounds. _Shit._

“Yeah. It’s sort of a recent theory, but there’s no other way to explain how several of those reported incidents could happen at the same time from opposite ends of the asylum. I’ll tell you all about them while we go have a look around.” With a sigh filled with regret and resignation, Ryan straightens and adjusts the camera strapped around his chest, and their crew shuffles around as they also prepare to go mobile. He looks at Shane, who hasn’t moved a muscle.

“Shane? You ok, dude?” He frowns, concerned. “Hey, you don’t look so good. Did you eat something weird again?”

He grabs at the chance. “Uh, actually, yeah I did,” Shane blurts out quickly. “Airport food, you know. I never learn. Can we -- what if we do this another day? Tomorrow?” He makes a show of clutching his stomach. Ryan widens his eyes.

“Whoa, um, I really wish we could, but we already reserved this place for today only. I don’t think we can change plans.” He turns towards their crew. “Hey guys? Anybody got something for stomach ache? Or food poisoning?” At their head shakes, he turns back at Shane with a look of genuine regret. “Sorry, dude. Think you can hold it in until the end of the shoot? I’ll make it as quick as I can.”

Shane shuts his eyes, mind racing. He doesn’t have his usual tools and weapons. He’d already cleaned up the sigils he set up yesterday in anticipation for today. He can’t force everyone to leave the place so abruptly with no explanation, especially since they’re already well into the filming. It would mean risking his own secrets and escalating everyone’s fear and paranoia, which would only entice a demon attack. But there is safety in numbers -- demons were not known to attack large groups. And perhaps this demon will avoid them if it had seen Shane exorcise the other one. He’s not completely unarmed; he’s got his demon killing knife he carries with him everywhere, although he prefers not to use it. And if it did come down to a mad dash for escape, Shane already has a good idea of the building’s floor plan. All he has to do is keep everyone together and prevent anyone from wandering into any dark rooms alone.

It’s only a few hours. They can make it. He’ll get rid of the demon later tonight, after Ryan inevitably chickens out and they leave early.

He opens his eyes. Ryan’s face fills his vision, his expression open with concern. Despite Shane’s inner turmoil, his heart gives a small leap at how close they suddenly are. His eyes flick to Ryan’s expressive mouth, but Shane immediately shuts down any frivolous thoughts. Now isn’t the time to be distracted.

He hates the thought that he’s putting Ryan in danger because of his own screw up and lies, but hell will freeze over before Shane lets that demon touch a single hair on Ryan’s head.

“Yeah, I can deal with it.” Shane finally replies. Ryan smiles, and Shane’s resolve only strengthens.

“Ok. Don’t worry, leave all the getting scared shitless to me. And if we do come across a demon, check this out.” Ryan grabs his backpack and rummages through it, until he whips out -- “My trusty holy water squirt gun! _And_ I’ve got my salt. I’m ready and armed, baby!”

Shane laughs in surprise, his knot of tension loosening a little at Ryan’s triumphant posing and better yet, the fact that they have some extra protection on them against the demon.

“Oh, good, I feel _so_ much better,” Shane teases as he moves to gather his things.

“Mock all you want, Shane, but with this kind ammunition, no demon is gonna mess with us,” Ryan retorts, striding towards their waiting crew with a confidence he no doubt feels only a fraction of.

“Yeah,” Shane says quietly. He glares balefully at the darkened doorway of the room they’re about to enter. “It better not.”

\--

The filming passes uneventfully, although Shane’s instincts continue to scream at him to take the crew and run. Several times he catches a glimpse of movement in his peripherals, and one time he thinks a pair of glowing eyes flash behind a window, but the demon otherwise doesn’t make itself known. When Ryan suggests they do their usual bit of standing alone in a dark room, Shane immediately protests.

“Why not?” Ryan asks, surprised. “Are you actually scared? Is the great Shane Madej finally spooked?” He gives a shit eating grin that Shane tries very hard not to find adorable.

 _I’m scared for **you** , asshole_. Out loud, he says, “Why don’t we just stick with your little ghost toys? Nothing ever happens when we do this bit, and anyway, I’m not keen on letting one of those wild raccoons maul me during my alone time. Besides,” he gives an exaggerated grimace and points at his stomach, then wiggles his finger in a _wrap up_ signal.

“Okay, okay, fine,” Ryan relents, as though he isn’t relieved at not having to stay in a dark room alone. “You seriously gotta stop eating weird shit, dude. And for the record, there aren’t any wild raccoons in here. I’m telling you it’s a demon.”

 _I know_ , Shane thinks grimly. “Then why don’t you keep your holy water gun in hand just in case? That way you’ll be ready when a raccoon -- I mean _demon_ \-- jumps at you.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Ryan laughs, and brushes past him to move on. Shane shoots an anxious look into a shadowy corner and follows.

It feels like an eternity, but they do finally wrap up. The camera crew packs up their equipment and leave Ryan and Shane alone to face a night within the asylum’s cavernous belly. With a demon on the loose.

“I swear every time I do this, my life span shortens a few years,” Ryan grumbles as he rolls out his sleeping bag. He’s even more jittery than before, constantly jumping at every sound. For once, Shane knows the feeling.

“We don’t have to do this, you know,” Shane reminds him. “We can just leave. Like right now.”

“No, I made a promise didn’t I? I should at least stay a few hours. I’m not gonna skimp out on our viewers just because I’m scared.”

Why did Ryan have to be so honorable, Shane despairs. It’s a quality he’d always admired and loved about him, but this is literally the worst time for it to come through.

“Honestly, I’d prefer it if we could leave as soon as possible,” Shane tries again. “Because, you know. The food poisoning.”

“It’s really bad this time, isn’t it?” Ryan looks sympathetic. “You were totally out of it today. You barely even insulted the demon.” He reaches out and places a hand on Shane’s forehead. Shane leans into it before he can think. “At least you don’t have a fever. Maybe you can try sleeping it off.” His dark brown eyes are so concerned. Shane hates himself.

“Why don’t you go make your salt circle,” Shane sighs. “Then we can both get some sleep.” He manages a smile.

Ryan stares at him a second longer, but then blinks and seems to get a hold of himself. He also seems to notice his hand is still on Shane and hastily retracts it. “Good idea. Doubt I’ll get any sleep at all, but I’ll certainly feel better with a salt circle.” He scrambles off to do it.

The room feels colder the moment Ryan took his hand off Shane. He rubs his face. He really needs to get all these...feelings under control. Nothing good can come out of them if he’s keeping such a huge part of his identity a secret from Ryan.

A loud thunk comes from the hallway outside.

They freeze.

“Did you hear that?” Ryan says in a hushed voice. He’s still crouched from adding the finishing touches to the salt circle. “I’m not being paranoid, right? There was definitely a sound outside.”

“I’ll go check it out,” Shane says, rising up.

“No! You can’t go out there alone,” Ryan hisses. He all but dives back into his sleeping bag. “Stay within the circle, we’re protected in here!”

“I’ll be fine,” Shane says reassuringly. “It’s probably just a rat, or something.”

“Do not leave me alone in here!”

“I swear I’ll be right back.”

“Fuck that, I’m coming with you --”

“ _No._ ” Shane whirls around and grips his hand on Ryan’s shoulder, forcing him back down. Ryan’s eyes widen. “ _Stay here._ Don’t move from this circle, okay?”

“I -- okay?” Ryan says, bewildered. “Why are you acting so weird, dude? You’re freaking me out...”

“Just, please. Stay. I’m just gonna go have a quick look.” Shane forces his vice like grip to relax and awkwardly pats Ryan’s shoulder in an attempt to dissolve the tension. From the look on Ryan’s face, it doesn’t seem to work very well.

He grabs a flashlight and, steeling himself, takes a step out of the circle.

Nothing happens.

He releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Without the protection of the salt circle, he feels incredibly vulnerable and his hand itches to reach for his knife hidden in his ankle sheath.

“Be right back,” he calls over his shoulder as he moves towards the door.

“You better!” Ryan calls back anxiously.

The hallway is eerily silent. The darkness pressing in from both ends feels palpable, and his flashlight doesn’t seem to do much in pushing back the blackness. Once he’s out of Ryan’s line of vision, Shane pulls out his demon knife and holds it out in front of him, his hunter instincts kicking in to seize control of his adrenaline and enhance his senses.

He quickly goes to work setting up protection sigils on either side of the doorway leading to their room. He doesn’t have any chalk or markers on him, so with a grimace, he slices his palm to use his blood. With these, the demon won’t be able to enter. It might be overdoing it, since Ryan already has the salt circle, but Shane isn’t taking any chances.

Once they’re done, Shane deftly rips a piece of his shirt to tie up his wound and, with his knife in one hand and a flashlight in the other, he faces the inky void.

“Bring it the fuck on, demon,” he growls.

The asylum houses a nightmarish labyrinth, made all the more disorienting by the fact that his flashlight barely illuminates the path in front of him and Shane curses himself for not changing its batteries. He’s fervently glad that he managed to memorize the floor plan before his demon hunt yesterday, but he still can’t afford to lose his concentration now. Every turn looks exactly the same as the one before, the same decayed hallway with rubble and debris scattered over the cracked floors.

It’s agonizing, this part of the hunt, when it’s a lethal game of cat and mouse except he has no idea which role he’s playing. Shane has been through this countless times, but he never hates it less. He wishes, not for the first time, that he left his sigils up from the night before. A demon trap would be so convenient right now, if he could just lead the bastard --

A movement catches his eye and he immediately brings his knife up to deflect a powerful blow.

He grunts and skids into the patient room he’s forced into. The moment he finds his balance, he drops into a fighting stance and flicks his flashlight around the room, looking for --

He whirls around and slashes blindly, but his knife must have managed to make contact because a furious howl erupts.

The black mass of writhing smoke is right in front of him. Shane plunges his knife forward but the demon darts away to the other side of the room, where the smoke solidifies enough to form a dark, vaguely humanoid figure. Glowing eyes open.

“Quick on your feet, aren’t you, little hunter,” the demon rasps. Its voice is scratchy and deep, with a strange echo like it’s been dredged up from the the deepest caves of hell. It looks down at its chest where a sliver of glowing orange shines from the black. “Not bad with a knife either.”

“Nice of you to finally show up,” Shane scowls. “Listen, I don’t have time for this. Give up and go to hell already. You saw what I did to your friend.”

The demon cocks its head. “Do you want to see what I can do to _your_ friend?”

Shane flings his knife at the demon. It dissipates and the knife goes straight through. The demon reappears on Shane’s left to deliver a clawed slash aimed at his head, but Shane brings his arm up just in time to block. Searing pain erupts but Shane ignores it with gritted teeth and aims a kick at the demon, but misses as the demon wisps away.

It cackles. “Your moves have become agitated. Driven by emotion. Not like how you were yesterday. Have I angered you?”

“Shut the hell up,” Shane snarls, and dives for his knife. The demon is quicker and rams into him before he can reach his weapon. Shane slams into the wall with a pained grunt, disoriented.

“You have feelings for the boy, don’t you? Does he know of your little side job, or have you been _lying_ \--”

“Shut UP!” Shane roars and struggles to stand up. The demon is on him in a second. Black claws close around his neck, but the moment they do, the demon lets out a strangled hiss and leaps back. Acrid smoke fills the air.

“Pentagram tattoo, baby,” Shane grins, teeth bared. “Can’t touch any of my goods unless you want your fingers burned off, ya pervert.”

The demon snarls. “Perhaps I can not touch you, but I wonder if your tattoo protects you from _this._ ” It grabs the broken bed sitting in the corner and hurls it at Shane. He rolls away just before the bed crashes into the wall.

“I’m going to have so much fun pulling your precious _Ryan_ apart, you pathetic hunter!” the demon roars. Glass shards fly at Shane and he desperately dodges around the room. _Where’s my fucking knife, where’s my fucking knife..._

A shard pierces his leg and he stumbles with a cry. The demon looms above him, a nightstand held up high and glowing eyes flashing.

“Don’t worry, you won’t die just yet,” the demon’s voice drips with malice. “I think we’ll pay a little visit to Ryan first and you can watch while I kill him slowly right before your eyes.”

His knife is just a few feet away. If he can just...

“I don’t think so,” the demon sneers, and raises its arms.

And screams.

Shane watches in shock as the demon writhes and screams and sizzles until it disappears in a twist of smoke. The nightstand crashes onto the floor and Shane peers over it to see…

“Ryan!”

“Shane, what the fucking fuck!” Ryan yells, his voice high pitched. His arms are extended in front of him, holding his flashlight and holy water gun in shaking hands. “What the fuck was that, was that a _demon?!_ ”

Shane’s heart soars at the sight of Ryan, but is immediately crushed as the situation sinks in. “Ryan, what are you doing here? I told you to stay in the room!” He scrambles up, but drops back down at the stinging pain in his leg.

“I heard noises! And howling! And you were gone a long time so I went out and there were _symbols drawn in fucking blood on the walls!_ ” Ryan yells, flailing his arms. As he draws closer he catches sight of Shane’s various injuries and gasps. Shane winces.

“Shane --”

“Don’t worry about me. We need to get out of here right now.” He reaches down and yanks out the glass shard. “ _Fuck_ that hurt.”

“Oh my god --”

“Come on, let’s go!” He picks up his knife and drags a stunned Ryan out the door.

“What the hell is going on?!” Ryan demands as they sprint through the corridors.

“I’ll tell you when we get back. This way!”

“No, tell me right the _fuck_ now what is happening! Was that a demon?”

“Yes! And it’s gonna kill us if we don’t hurry!”

“But -- the holy water --”

“It doesn’t kill them! To fully destroy one, I need to get in close enough to stab its heart with my knife, or I have to trap it and properly exorcise it!”

“How the fuck do you trap a demon?!”

“Salt circle or a sigil trap!”

“How do you know all this? Who are you?!”

Shane clenches his hands. He didn’t want to reveal himself like this. But Ryan deserves to know. He deserved to know a long time ago.

“I’m a demon hunter,” he finally confesses. A shocked silence falls, broken only by the sound of their running footsteps and Shane’s own pounding heart.

“ _What?_ ”

“I hunt demons. Or, really any supernatural creature. It’s a family thing.”

“Are you -- is this a joke?” Ryan sputters. “How did I not know this?”

“It’s not really my main job! I just, I only do it whenever I come across one!”

“And you just never told me? You knew they existed this whole time and you never told me?!” Ryan’s voice grows dangerously louder in his rising anger. “I’ve had to deal with your skeptic bullshit for years!”

“Keep your voice down!” Shane hisses anxiously.

“Don’t tell me to shut up,” Ryan snarls. “I can’t believe you kept this from me! Was it funny for you, seeing me run around clueless while you knew the truth?”

“It’s not like that!” Shane says desperately. He feels sick, and it has nothing to do with the demon. “It’s not something I can just tell people! And then our show started, and it just seemed easier to do my thing without telling you…”

Ryan stops running. Shane stops as well, a few feet ahead, and turns around. The look on Ryan’s face freezes his heart and then shatters it all at once.

“You used me,” Ryan says, voice flat in his realization. He stares at Shane with eyes filled with anger, and confusion, and so much hurt. “None of this meant anything to you, did it? You just used the show to find demons.”

“Ryan,” Shane starts weakly, but Ryan is shaking his head.

“And here I thought we had something special,” Ryan lets out a horrible laugh, still shaking his head. “Two best friends ghost hunting together. I thought we were, I don’t know, _bonding._ I _wanted_ to bond. I wanted so much to do this with you, anything with you, because I…” He stops shaking his head. “I’m a fucking idiot.” He looks up, and Shane is horrified to find his eyes wet. “Am I even your friend?”

“ _Yes._ ” Shane says it with so much feeling it finally uproots him and he closes the distance between them to grip Ryan’s shoulders. “ _Yes,_ Ryan, you are my best fucking friend. I didn’t do this show to hunt demons. I did it because I love doing it and I love doing it with you. I’m sorry I never told you who I really was, it just never was the right time. My stupid family business does not mean even a _fraction_ of what our friendship means to me. The only reason I even continued doing it was to make sure you were never in any danger walking into the places we go to. I,” Shane makes a frustrated noise, “Look, you know I’m terrible with feelings stuff, but I...wanted to spend time with you, too. Okay? I want to keep doing this for as long as you’ll let me. So please, Ryan. Give me another chance?”

Ryan stares at him. Shane feels like his entire world has narrowed down to just him and Ryan in this dusty corridor. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if Ryan rejects him, doesn’t know how he’ll continue if Ryan leaves him behind, but he’s willing to fight a thousand demons if it meant Ryan would take him back.

After what feels like an entire lifetime, Ryan breaks into a wobbly grin.

“Wow, I didn’t know you were capable of this much emotion,” he says, and even his weak smile shines through the darkness.

“Asshole,” Shane breathes out, and he pulls Ryan into a tight hug as relief washes over him. “You do bring out the best in me.”

“I forgive you,” Ryan’s voice is muffled as he hugs him back. “But don’t lie to me about something this big again.”

“I won’t,” Shane promises.

“ _How touching._ ”

The boys spring apart at the sound of a disembodied voice. In a swirl of black mist, the demon materializes, but its form is incomplete, the torso a warped mass.

“Look what you’ve done to me,” the demon seethes. “You with your precious holy water. You will die first, boy.”

Shane shoves Ryan behind him. “Run!”

“Hell no!”

The demon rushes them. Shane slashes with his knife and the demon swoops up to avoid the blade.

“Ryan, get away from here!” Shane shouts without taking his eyes off the demon. It moves to lunge at them again.

“I’m not leaving you!” Ryan ducks under Shane’s arm and aims his gun at the demon. It dodges the water projectile but a drop must have hit it because it howls and stops its attack, sizzling. “Ha! Take that!”

“You’re not trained to fight a demon! Leave it to me and go!” Shane elbows Ryan away.

“Did you not see how I just --”

“It’s not enough! You have no idea what a demon is capable of! If you stay here you’ll just make it harder for me and we’ll both die!”

“Gee, thanks a fucking lot!”

The demon screeches again and darts back and forth, trying to find a weak spot. Its hateful glowing eyes seem to burn brighter.

“Please,” Shane nearly begs. He’s still looking at the demon but his hand gropes to find Ryan’s arm and squeezes it. “I can’t let you die. I’ll never forgive myself. _Go,_ already!”

Shane can practically feel Ryan’s hesitation, but a moment later a hand squeezes Shane back. “Fine. Don’t you dare die, asshole.”

He reaches past Shane to shoot a few more squirts at the demon to keep it at bay, and then shoves the gun into Shane’s hand. “Take this.”

“What, no, you need it --”

But Ryan is already gone, his footsteps sprinting away.

The demon screams in fury and the glass windows lining the corridor shatter. Shane shields himself with his arms. He drops his flashlight, but the weak blue light filtering through the broken windows is enough to see by. Sunrise is still too far away. He’ll just have to try and kill the demon himself.

Easier said than done.

All the disadvantages stacked against him -- poor physical condition, lack of preparation, shitty visibility -- force Shane to draw on every bit of his hunter training and experience. He can feel himself getting weaker as the fight draws on. His injuries are burning and fatigue is wearing him down as minutes pass, but the demon doesn’t flag. Exhaustion and pain mess with his accuracy and before long, his holy water runs out. They somehow end up in the mess hall and the demon relentlessly launches tables and chairs at him. One of them clips Shane’s side and bruises him badly. He can barely grip his knife.

 _This can’t be the end._ He rolls away from a volley of shards and debris. _I can’t die like this._ He grimly thinks how fucking ironic it is that the thing he pretends doesn’t exist is the very thing that’s gonna kill him.

_At least Ryan is somewhere safe by now._

“HEY, YOU DEMON FUCK!”

“Goddammit, Ryan!” Shane yells in frustration.

Sure enough, Ryan is standing at the entrance of the mess hall. He’s panting heavily and for some reason, his shirt is off, clutched in his left hand. He points at the demon.

“Get your filthy demon hands off of him and come get a piece of this!” he bellows, and... _does a ridiculous goddamn dance._

“What the hell are you doing?” Shane yells, incredulous. “Have you lost your mind?!”

Ryan ignores him. “I thought you were gonna kill me first?” he continues taunting. “Did you forget I shot holy water up your ass? What’s the matter, can’t handle little ol’ me?”

“What do you think you’re doing, boy?” the demon rasps, its eyes narrowing.

“I’m calling you chicken shit, idiot! I bet you can’t lay a finger on me! Honestly I thought demons were scarier but you can’t even kill Shane, and he’s about as coordinated as an abnormally tall baby giraffe!”

“Hey!”

“Come on, square up, motherfucker!” Now Ryan is jumping from foot to foot, swinging his shirt like a madman. “Unless you don’t have it in ya, you stupid, bitchass, smoke-for-brains dumb shit-eating --”

Fury overrides suspicion, and with a roar the demon lunges towards Ryan.

“Oh shit,” Ryan balks, and flees.

“Fuck!” Shane curses and with herculean effort forces his screaming limbs to get up and lurch after them.

Ryan’s taunts echo through the corridors and Shane stumbles around corners trying to catch up. What the fuck was Ryan thinking, trying to pull something like this? There’s being brave and then there’s _insane lack of self-preservation…_

A yell cuts him short.

“Ryan!” Shane shouts, and a spike of fear boosts him towards the recreation room where the yell came from.

He runs inside and skids to a halt.

“It fucking worked!” Ryan whoops. He’s jumping up and down, fist pumping the air, before abruptly stopping. “Ooh, okay, gonna stop doing that, getting kind of dizzy.”

“What…” Shane can’t stop staring.

Because in the center of the room, the demon is thrashing around in what looks to be an invisible cage.

“Sigil trap!” Ryan beams. “Just like you said! I drew it with my own blood and then hid it with a curtain I ripped off. Led the demon in here and BAM. Trapped like a rat!” He winces and lifts up the hand clutching his shirt. “Uh, I did use a piece of crusty old glass to cut my hand, though, so I probably should get it checked as soon as possible.”

Shane is speechless. The demon thrashes and howls just a few feet in front of him but even with the sigil drawn as unevenly as it is, he knows it will hold.

“Well?” Ryan says impatiently.

“Crude, but I’ll give you an A for effort,” Shane says faintly, still staring.

“No, dipshit, exorcise the demon!”

This snaps Shane out of his daze. He approaches the demon, palm facing out. Taking a deep breath, he draws the Latin verses from memory and begins the incantation.

At the first syllables, the demon starts struggling harder and a hideous scream bursts from its maw. Ryan claps his hands over his ears, but Shane only raises his voice. Any trace of humanity is gone, as the demon can not even form words in the ear splitting noise emitting from its twisting mass. Cracks of glowing orange begin to appear, and in a culmination of blinding light, the demon finally vanishes in a last explosion of smoke and a sharp crack.

Shane and Ryan stare at the charred, smoking sigil.

“Is...is it gone?”

“Yeah,” Shane finally breathes, and lowers his hand. “It’s finally gone.”

“Thank fucking god,” Ryan groans and promptly collapses to sit on the ground.

Wordlessly, Shane sits down next to him. A silence falls between them as they take a moment to catch their breath and take in what just happened. Shane notices Ryan is shivering. Overcome with a rush of fondness, he shrugs off his own jacket to put over Ryan’s shoulders.

“Thanks,” Ryan sighs, and clutches it close. He looks over at the still smoking trap. “I can’t believe we just murked a fucking demon.”

Shane hums in agreement. A thought strikes him. “Hey, how did you know how to make a sigil trap, anyway?”

“What? Oh, I Googled it.” He takes his phone out of his pocket and waves it.

Silence.

“What?” Ryan says defensively. “I’m not a demon hunter, and this sigil was the top result --”

Shane kisses him.

Ryan makes a muffled noise of surprise, but before he can react, Shane pulls back and cradles Ryan’s face between his hands.

“Ryan Bergara, I fucking love you,” he says fervently. Ryan blinks and then he laughs, the joyous sound reverberating around the room, and when he says “Back at ya, big guy,” Shane thinks he has never felt so happy in his goddamn life.

WIth a beaming smile, Ryan leans forward and kisses Shane, and never mind, _this_ is the happiest moment of his life.

\--

They eventually make it back to their room with the salt circle that feels like it was drawn years ago. Between happy bickering and long makeout sessions, they pack up their things and head out into the cool, early morning.

As they wait for their camera crew to pick them up, Ryan suddenly remembers something and turns to Shane.

“Dude. How are we gonna explain this?”

“Explain what?”

Ryan gestures at Shane’s wounds and at his own beat up body. Shane looks down for a moment, before looking back up.

“Raccoon attack?”

Ryan laughs until he wheezes.


End file.
